Category Archives: Aching Heart

Till One of Us Can’t Take It

Posted by James Browning on

Two may love each other yet not be able to live together. You get jealous.  I have difficulty expressing my love. You get raging mad. I don’t like sex often. You do. We’re from different countries. We sleep in separate beds as often as together. Is our marriage doomed? D.F.

… we feel everything but yet we see nothing.
… still we shed tears of promise
… holding on to this love cause our hearts say to stay
… even thought our minds say to let go and move on
… so we stay and hurt each other
… till one of us can’t take it any more.
Adapted from a poem by Kidd

Why I Am Afraid

Posted by James Browning on

You’ll leave me soon. Your body still lives in the same home as me, but your mind, heart and soul is gone. Telling you I know about your secret lover would only hasten your departure. Knowing and living with you is killing me. Being without you is beyond my imagination. T.J.

You say that you love rain,
but you open your umbrella when it rains…
You say that you love the sun,
but you find a shadow spot when the sun shines…
You say that you love the wind,
But you close your windows when wind blows…
This is why I am afraid;
You say that you love me too…
Korkuyorum Turkish poem

Fire Runs Through My Body

Posted by James Browning on

Even though I don’t want you after how deeply you hurt me, my heart still jumps a beat when I hear about you. Seeing you by chance rattles me for hours. Finding old pictures of us disturbs my sleep for days. I don’t want you but I still love you. I wish that would go away. L.M.

Fire runs through my body with the pain of loving you
Pain runs through my body with the fires of my love for you
Sickness wanders my body with my love for you
Pain like a boil about to burst with my love for you
Consumed by the fire with my love for you
I remember what you said to me
I am thinking of your love for me
I am torn by your love for me
Pain and more pain
Where are you going with my love?
I am told you will go from here
I am told you will leave me here
My body is numb with grief
Remember what i have said, my love
Good bye, my love, good bye.”
Recited by an anonymous Kwakiutl Indian
of Southern Alaska to a missionary in 1896

Just By Living

Posted by James Browning on

I will never get hold you, kiss you or make love with you again. You’re marrying another. Your life will not be with me and your children will be with someone else.  It’s my own fault. I thought I loved someone else only to discover too late it was only you I loved all along. L.W.

…here she is,
all mine,
trying her best
to give me all she can.
How could I ever hurt her?
But I didn’t understand then.
That I could hurt somebody so badly she would never recover.
That a person can, just by living, damage another human being beyond repair.
Haruki Murakami, “South of the Border, West of the Sun”

I Can’t Help Myself

Posted by James Browning on

Sometimes as I start to wake up in the morning I forget you’re gone. Then as consciousness comes I don’t feel you near me, my eyes open and the reality of you no longer sleeping with me falls hard again.  It’s all I can do to keep going. I wish I did not miss you so much. S.T.

I’m trying not to love you
I’m trying not to care
I’m trying not to live my life wishing you were there
I’m trying not to wonder where you are or what you do
I’m sorry I can’t help myself
I fell in love with you

Alone in Darkness

Posted by James Browning on

I have loved and lost before, but never felt like I do now after losing you. It feels like I’m moving in slow motion while everything races by me. Others don’t see my pain and go on like nothing has happened while I am stuck here wondering why you no longer love me. A.F.

Alone in the darkness,
Pain, sorrow and despair
Mourning a trust born of spirit
I can’t now repair

Searing pain so deeply
now carried deep within my heart
Betrayal done blatantly
yet hidden from the start.
From “Never Again” by Elle.rose7

With All The Little Pieces

Posted by James Browning on

We ignore each other and try to pretend the other person doesn’t exist, but deep down we know it wasn’t supposed to end like this. It’s amazing how someone can break your heart and you can still love them with all the little pieces. V.M.

 For Sale:
One Heart.
Horrible condition.
Will take anything for it.
PLEASE…
Just cut it out of my chest
and end this suffering.

A Hole In The World

Posted by James Browning on

Where did I go wrong? What does she do better than me? Do I deserve this? All I do is cry now and want you back even though I know what you did was so very wrong. You have me spinning in circles. Inside I know the truth: you are a pathetic liar and don’t deserve me. J.B.

 Where you used to be,
there is a hole in the world,
which I find myself
constantly walking around
in the daytime,
and falling in at night.
I miss you like hell.
Edna St. Vincent Millay

I’m Not Supposed To…

Posted by James Browning on

I wish I could get you out of my head. If I could do that, maybe I can start to get you out of my heart. I imagine everything being good again between us, but I know you have moved on.  I am just a part of the past. R.Y.

I’m not supposed to love you.
I’m not supposed to care.
I’m not supposed to live
My life wishing you were there.
I’m not supposed to wonder
Where you are or what you do.
I’m sorry I can’t help myself,
I’m in love with you.