To Trust You Again

broken20heart11There are still some bad moments, but more good ones now. What you did has faded a little and the knowing is not constantly on fire. My grief is slowly diminishing. My hurt is healing. I’m still here. I want to trust you again. Do you see how much I love you? G.W.

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Stab the body and it heals,
but injure the heart
and the wound lasts a lifetime.
Mineko Iwasaki

For Now

broken20heart11Sound I stay? Should I go? Is running best or is hanging on to you for dear life better? Will you recover from your addiction to want only me? Can I love you the way I need to after now knowing the truth about you? For now, I just want to stay and be with you. M.E.

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The Moth don’t care when he sees The Flame.
He might get burned, but he’s in the game.
And once he’s in, he can’t go back,
He’ll beat his wings ’til he burns them black…
No, The Moth don’t care when he sees The Flame. . .
The Moth don’t care if The Flame is real,
‘Cause Flame and Moth got a sweetheart deal.
And nothing fuels a good flirtation,
Like Need and Anger and Desperation…
No, The Moth don’t care if The Flame is real. . .
Aimee Mann

Second Chance

broken20heart11How you kept me from seeing what you were texting on your phone was a clue, but I let it go. I love you. Now your secrets are out. You’ve never been faithful to me and cheated the whole time. I’ll give you a second chance, but only one to deal with your addiction. C.B.

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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark,
in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite,
the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero
in your soul perish, in lonely frustration
for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach.
Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won.
It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours.
Ayn Rand

A Thousand Times Sorry

broken20heart11My mind’s a thousand times sorry. My soul twice as much. But my heart regrets an uncountable amount. You’re ‘the one’ but I let lust take me. I cheated in a dirty and thoughtless transgression that’s my sorrow to bear. Please, please forgive me. T.G

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How can one so seemingly friendly
betray all trusts and defect so readily?
How can one so high of morals
inflict only pain and dwell on sorrows?
How can one so soundly virtuous
commit heinous crimes and be so torturous?
How can one so quick with generosity
stoop so low and never bother with an apology?
How can one so reliably loyal
forsake all friendships and live in turmoil?
How can one have each and every quality
fail so blatantly and give in to frivolity?
And why did this one have to be me?
Unknown

What Other Secrets

broken20heart11You have herpes and did not admit it until I caught the disease from you. I wonder what other secrets you keep and ask myself frequently,”what else have you not told me”. The longer intrigue is hidden, the more damaging the truth is when told. G.T.

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…when at last you find someone
to whom you feel you can pour out your soul,
you stop in shock at the words you utter –
they are so rusty, so ugly, so meaningless
and feeble from being kept
in the small cramped dark inside you so long.
From “The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath”
by Sylvia Plath

For No Good Reason

broken20heart11Sometimes I break my own heart then realize it’s of my own doing. You have done nothing. Re-assembling the pieces, I know everything is okay UNTIL the next time my restless mind takes over again. Oh, what torture I put myself through for no good reason. C.T.

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We are often insane with happiness.
We are also very unhappy for reasons
neither of us can do anything about.
Like being separated.
Audrey Niffenegger

Masks

broken20heart11Falling was only the beginning. Loving you is the real journey. I discovered over time you’re not what you presented yourself to be. Instead of kind, tender and considerate, you’re actually self-centered, cruel and callous. I’m not sure how long I can take this. W.P.

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Love takes off masks
that we fear we cannot live without
and know we cannot live within.
James Baldwin

From the Distance

broken20heart11The last thing I want is for you to go, but I know you’re going. You don’t love me like I love you. You’re still searching and don’t really know yet what you need. No words can’t change your mind. There is nothing I can do but let you go and love you from a distance. S.D.

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Fire runs through my body with the pain of loving you;
Pain runs through my body with the fires of my love for you;
Sickness wanders my body with my love for you;
Pain like a boil about to burst with my love for you;
Consumed by the fire with my love for you.
I remember what you said to me;
I am thinking of your love for me;
I am torn by your love for me;
Pain and more pain.
Where are you going with my love?
I am told you will go from here
I am told you will leave me here;
My body is numb with grief;
Remember what I have said, my love
Good bye, my love, good bye.
recited by a Kwakuitl Indian of Southern Alaska

I Feel Dirty & Used

broken20heart11It was just a few nights. You took what you wanted, then dumped me. For you it was casual sex like scratching an itch. For me it was more. I feel dirty & used from giving all of myself to another man who didn’t deserve me. You’d think I’d have learned by now. S.F.

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I’m not supposed to love you,
I’m not supposed to care
I’m not supposed to live my life,
wishing you were there
I’m not supposed to wonder
where you are or what you do
I’m sorry I just can’t help myself,
I fell in love with you.
Anonymous

I Went Too Far

broken20heart11It was stupid to think I could always control myself when I partied and drank too much. The attention of another man felt good. One thing led to another and I went too far. In drunken weakness I traded moments of pleasure for the beautiful life I had with you. J.B.

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I don’t know what to say,
Everything is wrong,
I can’t believe that I was so blind,
Once again I lost my way,
I know that you’re gone,
I know I hurt you deep inside,
Maybe you can’t forget the lies,
I was just a fool, you see,
I know you trusted me…
From the song “I Am Here”
written and sung by Shakira