Dirty, Rotten, Evil

broken20heart11For months you convinced me you had changed and your past was behind you. All the way you were still playing your dirty little compulsive games. Even in bed you made plans for sex with others while I lay beside you. Dirty, Rotten, Evil. B.C.

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F#@& You for cheating on me.
F#@& you for reducing it to the word cheating.
As if this were a card game, and you sneaked a look at my hand.
Who came up with the term cheating, anyway?
A cheater, I imagine. Someone who thought liar was too harsh.
Someone who thought devastator was too emotional.
The same person who thought,
oops, he’d gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
F#@& you.
This isn’t about slipping yourself an extra twenty dollars
of Monopoly money. These are our lives.
ou went and broke our lives.
You are so much worse than a cheater.
You killed something.
And you killed it when its back was turned.
From “The Lover’s Dictionary” by David Levithan

For Now

broken20heart11Sound I stay? Should I go? Is running best or is hanging on to you for dear life better? Will you recover from your addiction to want only me? Can I love you the way I need to after now knowing the truth about you? For now, I just want to stay and be with you. M.E.

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The Moth don’t care when he sees The Flame.
He might get burned, but he’s in the game.
And once he’s in, he can’t go back,
He’ll beat his wings ’til he burns them black…
No, The Moth don’t care when he sees The Flame. . .
The Moth don’t care if The Flame is real,
‘Cause Flame and Moth got a sweetheart deal.
And nothing fuels a good flirtation,
Like Need and Anger and Desperation…
No, The Moth don’t care if The Flame is real. . .
Aimee Mann

I Feel Dirty & Used

broken20heart11It was just a few nights. You took what you wanted, then dumped me. For you it was casual sex like scratching an itch. For me it was more. I feel dirty & used from giving all of myself to another man who didn’t deserve me. You’d think I’d have learned by now. S.F.

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I’m not supposed to love you,
I’m not supposed to care
I’m not supposed to live my life,
wishing you were there
I’m not supposed to wonder
where you are or what you do
I’m sorry I just can’t help myself,
I fell in love with you.
Anonymous

Dying With It

broken20heart11Who am I? I don’t know anymore. I used to, but now I don’t. You coming into my life changed me permanently. Now you leaving me behind is changing me even further into someone, something, I don’t like. Love is dying and I’m dying with it. T.G.

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I want to cry
I want to scream
I want to tell you mostly
I hate that I’m so afraid of everything
I hate that you’re the one thing I want the most but can’t have
I hate that you let me go before I got even got to say goodbye
I wish that you would come back to me
I wish I were strong enough to say no to you
I wish I could believe my own lies I use to cover up the pain you left
I need to move on says my head
I need to hold on says my heart
I need to decide says my mind
I envy the way this hasn’t hurt you at all
I envy her
I envy the fact you don’t understand what this feels like at all
I want to hurt you
I want to be with you
I want this nightmare to be over
I wish I could make things they were before you
I wish I could change time
I wish I could change you
I wish I could have hurt you before you hurt me
I wish I would have given you the letter when I wanted
I need you out of my thoughts
I need you out of my heart
I need to start doing things for me
I hate that you used me
I hate that I gave you something I can never have back
I hate that I wasted it with you
I’m tired of hoping aimlessly for you
I’m tired of wanting something I can’t have
I’m tired of hurting me for things that aren’t my fault
I’m sorry I was good enough
I’m sorry I defended you when everyone else was right
I’m sorry I couldn’t make you happy
Funny though how you never once said sorry for hurting me,
for breaking me,
for not loving me.
http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/thoughts-of-the-broken-hearted#ixzz2cqW8r3uV

Maybe One Day

broken20heart11She chose you and left me. Standing by and watching you hurt her is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. My heart silently weeps and my soul aches for her. I can’t love her more than I still do, but for now I can’t say a word. Maybe one day I can hold her again. R.R.

crying-heart

You didn’t love her.
You just didn’t want to be alone.
Or maybe, maybe she was
just good for your ego.
Or, maybe she made you feel better
about your miserable life,
but you didn’t love her.
Because you don’t destroy
people you love.
Grey’s Anatomy

Getting Back Together

broken20heart11Knowing you were much younger always made me wonder what would become of me for loving you. Now I know. You got bored and wanted someone your own age. Now you say that was a mistake and you want only me. Should I believe you? Trust you? B.C.

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Deciding to get back together with someone
is a complicated and difficult decision.
Just remember that the person you are
getting back together with is the same person who,
not long before, looked you in your beautiful face,
took full stock of you and all your qualities,
and told you that he was no longer
in need of your company.
Ritu Ghatourey

Whoever Falls In Love First

broken20heart11I was playing for keeps. You were just playing. Only the chase that make you like me. Once I was yours the thrill was gone and moved on to your next conquest. I hate myself for letting you use me, but I hate myself more for letting you. W.O.

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I heard you’re a player. So, lets play a game.
Lets sweet talk. Lets play fight. Lets talk 24/7.
Lets tell each other good morning and good night every day.
Lets take walks together. Let’s give each other nicknames.
Lets go on dates. Lets talk on the phone all night long.
Lets hold each other. Lets kiss and hug.
And whoever falls in love first? Loses
Unknown